“He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.”
- Groucho Marx.
When you are a final year college student, the winds move in your direction and the roads lead to your destination. However, don’t take it literally. Of course, why would you- you are not illiterate. Else you wouldn’t have been a final year student. So, like I said, a final year student delivers a feeling of a weird charm within the boundaries of the space you referred as college; a boundary you set, out of which you never wanted to get out of.
Of course, that zone belongs to you and when someone tries to invade that space, you fight for your right. Your right to shout for freedom, your right to scream for independence and your right to yell for your ‘stuff’.
Once upon a time ago, there was a prince who rescued a princess from a monster and they lived happily ever after. Well, unfortunately for you, the post doesn’t stop here. So, bear the boredom.
Patrick deleted his ‘Orkut’ account because he claimed it was eating up his time and energy. He felt he was addicted to the damn non-narcotic thing. But insiders know better or rather, the insiders think otherwise. Now, one would give two or maybe three hoots if he deleted his account but the main-frame (not the fucking G.I.Joe) was that he was the owner of the college group on ‘Orkut’.
So how did that create a problem? Well, it did. Apparently, some guy took up the ownership since it was lying vacant. Since this weblog isn’t meant for mud slinging, let’s just call him Mr. Blessing. Now, he edited details and added a Shah Rukh Khan group as a related community. If that didn’t flip our balls in fury, his further actions did. This guy, who was our junior, tried teaching us the finer ways of posting comments and laid out new rules for the group. He added and deleted group moderators at his own will. He engaged in cocky comments and tried to back answer in way that was as cheesy as Baharul waxing his nasal hair.
And then one day, some seniors decided to act like seniors. The people involved were Baharul, Hitesh, Monica, Kotoky, Patrick, Samantha, Subhojit, Terence (In alphabetical order). Vincent was absent because he was vacationing in a surreal place called ‘Fuck you I don’t want controversy but I’m with you emotionally’.
So the seniors collected themselves and marched on towards the place where the junior classes took place. It was unreal. It was like a scene from ‘The Iliad’ where the Greeks stormed into the Trojan territory. Only that; there were no Trojans but just one ugly Paris who wore two things- an idiotic look and a boomerang smile.
So, we surrounded him like the surround sound out of a high definition digital Dolby home theatre system. You get the point, that’s what matters. We took him to the BBC (Basketball Court) and Jesus, what fucking good waste of time. Initially, no one made sense because all of us were yelling. Then we realized we were sounding like the people in the parliament.
Slowly, each one gathered momentum and blasted him. We felt the force within. Here is an excerpt from what each one said-
Monica – How dare you teach us how to speak!
Samantha – I will call you an ass. Take it literally.
Hitesh – What’s your fucking point!
Terence – Did you lose a bet or do you always dress up like this.
Kotoky – Kela saala (Banana brother-in-law), how dare you!
Patrick – Respect your seniors.
Baharul – Dekh bhai, aise nahi karte na (Look brother, this is not done no).
So, he wept a bit. Took out his red handkerchief and soaked his face. He didn’t sound a quarter of what he projected himself to be. He apologized and Monica wondered if he was a retard so she had a one on one with him where he came out even more confused and probably more mental. As we finished with our BBC episode, we realized we were pretty much united. So what if there were only about 5 or 6 people out of a class of about 40. If size did count then 300 Spartans would have never defeated a million Persians.
Thereafter, he learnt a lesson and so did we. The lesson he learnt closed him entirely and the lesson we learnt got us closer.
Now, with time, we have no ill feeling for him and we wish him the best in everything he does, except Advertising. That’s for Patrick and Terence exclusively. However we can only hope that Mr. Blessing takes the positive out of this fiasco where he was a small pebble wanting to be a little boulder. And yes, ‘Boulder’ is not a spelling mistake.