CRANK THAT LIKE THIS

When people say "It's always in the last place you look".
Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

When people, ‘point at their wrist while asking for the time’.
I know where my watch is, jackass, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?

- Somewhere.



The two points above bear little resemblance to the post below. It was just to get your attention. And while you are here, make an effort to read this and post a comment. We all have our pre-conceived notions and we suffer from it. College was a burning bag of pre-conceived notions and ideas.

These were the thoughts pendulum’ing in young minds a week before joining college.


ANURAG KOTOKY-
A banana is also called Kela so why is it derogatory. I’m sure I’ll find the answers in college. I’ll not hesitate to make an ass out of myself to get well acquainted. I could get some decent fucks too but there wouldn’t be any blind girl in my class. But let my thought BEHOLD, there will be many young men curious about literature and the sexual texts. Maybe I could pluck a leaf there. Baal kela.

BAHARUL ISLAM-
When I join college, I will be ahead of the game. I hope they like Bollywood because I have a nice BOLLYWOOD shirt. I will also fall in love at first sight; maybe I will blindfold myself and open them when I smell a great ladies’ perfume. How romantic. I will get her flowers from the garden of love and we will sing songs. I will also be very loud because love is never silent and it’s voice is heard all over. Oho, this is getting ridhiculous.

HITESH IPLANI-
Thank God, I just waxed my chest yesterday else the girls would think I’m wearing a monkey suit. Anyway, I will have TWICE the fun and I will have twice as many friends. I am fair, slim and tender. I will be a hit. Asking women about heir G-Spots directly would be rude so I will simply ask them, ‘What’s your point?’.

PATRICK-
I am the fucking swim champ, at the national level. I will screw women under water and also become the captain of the college swim team. But hey, wait a minute, my fucking college doesn’t have a swim team. Hey, wait another minute; it doesn’t even have a pool. Why am I getting excited for nothing? Fuck, I will just talk about Maiden near the maidens. I could have gone to Bombay but I guess I’ll bomb every bay in the university. Holy cow, wow.

TERENCE-
Yawn.

VED PRAKASH-
The baybes shall have me. I will play a subtle role and work hard so that all women ask for my notes and while doing so, they could view the red roses between the pages. Maybe then, I could get between the sheets with them. I hope no one else comes up with the red rose idea. I wanted to become a physical physician like my name suggests but English honours seems honourable. I will also not take a stand in order to please everyone.

VINCENT-
Fuck, another new college.



"That's not mean; mean is when I made Jen Mancini ride her bike home after I ass-fucked her."
- Johnny Drama (Entourage).